Flamingo Joe and The Town pair up again to ask whatever happened to some of the ‘bubble’s biggest long-lost staples. Ever wonder what happened to that crazy Quiznos guy? We have no idea in hell, but we may have some insight into some of our other lost gems.

Whatever happened to dressing up and taking dates to tailgates?

This is an age-old Southern tradition that has apparently gone to shit at Vanderbilt. Some bubbleheads might remember the pressure leading up to their first tailgate to have some fresh frat gear and a smokeshow arm ornament to flaunt around in the Nashville sun. Now, guys are out smashing beers on their skulls and tailgating at the asscrack of dawn in basketball jerseys, while girls dawdle around in their suites till 3pm with heavily photographed, but lightly alcoholic Andre pregames. We’re not saying that it’s wrong, but what happened to tradition?

Whatever happened to the 2nd round of the NCAA Tournament?

Sienna? Murray State? Seriously guys? Thanks for fist-fucking my bracket every year. Even President Obama doesn’t trust you anymore.

Whatever happened to Fraternity groupies?

Sluts didn’t used to just be sluts, they used to be loyal sluts.  There was a sacred process in the Vanderbilt Greek system where a select few girls in each grade would naturally gravitate to one fraternity.  These girls would become the default stuff choice on a drunken night when other conquests were unsuccessful. While these groupies would sometimes change their allegiances, it was certainly rare.  Nowadays, in the age of social networking and the see-and-be-seen Vanderbilt, even the most committed groupies are frat hopping just about every night.

Whatever happened to the 2 beer limit at the pub?

All right, this one has to be a complete myth. Heck, we’re six pub brews deep right now. Keep ‘em coming.

Whatever happened to Vanderbilt being a Southern School?

We were all promised a prestigious Southern institution, or the so-called “Harvard of the South,” by some snarfy sophomore ex-freshman tour guide when we visited as wide-eyed high school seniors. Little did we know that New Yorkers would outnumber Georgians, Alabamans (Alabamanians?), and even Texans. While the demographic swing is visually noticeable around campus, with fewer pastels and southern swoops every year, the Vandybubble’s notorious Southern Hospitality has also been swept under the rug in a New York minute.

Whatever happened to the Vandy Vans paint job?

Up until last year the Vandy Vans, or Vanderbusses as we like to call them, had wacky paint jobs with a jumbled alphabet soup of letters. Their ridiculous decorations gave obvious implications that they were for transporting hammered kids around campus. Enter the new “Intimidator” paint job that gives them a clean cut, straight to business, cold feel. Why did Vanderbilt change them? Why spend seemingly pointless money on these no-fun mobiles? They should have spent the money to upgrade the vans with cupholders, barf bags, and stripper poles.

Whatever happened to Yogurt Oasis?

This place used to get girls wetter than a Justin Bieber concert in the middle of Hurricane Irene, and now it’s off the card and far from Vandygirl chic. Now, heavy hitters like Pinkberry and Sweet Cici’s have moved into town, and obviously have used their brand equity like a designer label to scoop up (pun intended) Vandygirls by the conefull.

Whatever happened to Fuel?

Where do we even begin?  Fuel was supposed to the “illest 18+ club” in Nashville three years ago.  Sure, every time you hit the d-floor you’d have to bump uglies with a little NashTrash in order to properly position yourself with a top notch vandy snooch, but it seemed like a fair price to pay at the time.  Then came Hollywood Disco, a slightly closer and slightly (seriously, Fuel was mad sketchy) less sketchy location for freshman to get their late night sleeze on.  Now, with Disco deceased (RIP), expect a new shitbox bar to become the Freshman hotspot for the year.

Whatever happened to Friday afternoons?

Back in the day, before Vanderbilt became a haven for accutane-applying-poindexters, Friday afternoons were a party at every fraternity house.  It was simple: you got out of class, grabbed a case or a fifth, texted a couple rushes and sluts, and hit the porch.  The speakers would blast sweet classic rock as bros soaked up the beautiful fall weather.  Now, it’s just KA Frorch and a few brave bros at each house willing to get shit-housed before they get shit-casa’ed at Chili’s, before they get shit-dormed at the pregame, and before they get shit-hammered at the party.

-The Town and Flamingo Joe

The Town and Flamingo Joe are both writers for Vandybubble. If you have any other “Whatever happened to”‘s you can think of be sure to post them in the comments below or tweet @vandybubble.